Monday, 1 June 2015

I faced my fear of Him turning me down, He didn't. But....
It has been almost a week since we had "the discussion" It ended with me saying, so what do you want out of this, and Him saying, I will think about it. I guess he is still thinking. We continue to live our vanilla life, with the only changes seeming to be mine.

Ok... so that is a little exaggerated. It has only been 5 days. And if I am being completely honest, He is changing His mindset, but it is slow. SO SLOW! I want it all and I want it now!  (how bratty is that)

So to be entirely truthful, we had "the discussion" Thursday night, Friday, he was very tired, and slept most of the day, a mix of over worked and under slept for the last 3 months with many commitments pulling Him in different directions, He finally finished the last of them, looked around and realized He had nothing left pressing on his time, so He slept. And slept, and slept.
I went out with my friends on Friday night. I usually go out with the girls once or twice a month, this time, I asked his permission. He looked at me funny and said, of course, then I think He realized that we were trying to change the dynamic of the relationship. He said, I'm not going to keep you locked up. So I went out and he slept.

Saturday night I was sick, I have a problem in my stomach that sent us to the hospital, I think it was more a storm in a teacup, but it put Him into protective mode, and he is still kinda there.

I say kinda, because last night, although tender and not really up to anything OTT, we played a little, just him restraining me and really going hard on my nipple, just one.. I feel a little lopsided today. It was good, it was a good start, I felt close to my pain limit a few times but wanted to keep going, I wanted to let Him take it as far as he wanted to. I wanted to submit to his will. But geez it made me hot!

Outside of the bedroom I have shown my submission at every opportunity. He on the other hand, has sat back on his haunches, so to speak. No commands, no requests. Perhaps he is sussing it out, perhaps he needs longer to get his head around it than I do. Perhaps I need to cut Him some slack, I have been thinking of this much longer than he has.

He did show dominance last night, when I was unwell and had a fever, he told me to go get a bottle of water and come to bed with it.  It wasn't much, but the way he said it had me tingling inside. It was reminiscent to the old days. It was for my benefit, but it still was what I wanted to hear.

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